I agree with the need for the Safe Havens. They need to cost money, ideally the more banged up your guys are, the more it costs. I find myself running for the castle or towers in the hopes that a well equipped patrol will march out and engage my pursuers so I can get away. That doesn’t work well after the first couple of weeks, though. It seems the towns/castles/towers can’t replace lost troops.
In a single player game, there's no such thing as cheating. It's merely "creative manipulation of the default settings"!