Glad to hear you’re doing better. Three-way battles are a bit of a gamble. Sometimes it pays off, but in my experience it usually ends up being bad for the player.
In the first playthrough I think hruza is right when he says don’t hire as many guys. I would probably aim for padded leather (80d) on my frontline before going up on the number of recruits. Try to find leather tanners or the big trading cities, they often have half repaired padded leathers for 100-150 crowns or so.
As for your second Playthrough it sounds a lot better. Ancient Bladed Pike is pretty much the best early game weapon you could hope for. Hit bonus and huge effectiveness vs armor. I agree that roaming parties are kinda OP at the beginning. They spawn groups of orc berserkers, many brigand raiders etc on day 1. I hope this will be addressed in update 1.1 so we have more roaming thugs in the first 15 days or so.
As for your question: Direwolves are allied with Nachzehrers but thats about it. I believe Nachzehrers and Undead in general are allied as well. Maybe Brigands will be allied with Undead if they have a Necromancer but I am not sure about that. Brigands, Orcs, Goblins aren’t allied with anyone unless you have the greenskin invasion.
I think what will help you the most is to learn how to effectively dagger Raiders for their armor. This will boost your early game considerably.