A story by the Amazing Typing Aardvark
While contemplating your plans for the next mission, you notice that the men are gathered together in a circle a short distance away from you, and are chanting something strange that you can’t make out.
(sigh) What is it this time?
As you approach, you begin to hear what they are saying. To the chant of “One more bite! One more bite!”, Bjorn Beerbelly (any character with the glutton trait) is slowly lifting the last piece of pie to his quavering lips. Otto Know-it-all (random party character) informs you that Bjorn Beerbelly made a bet with Sigbold Sticky-fingers (a different random party member) that he could eat 5 whole meat pies in one sitting, and that he was on his last bite.
This should be interesting.
(This story could end two ways with two different outcomes)
As you watch Bjorn’s eyes, you can tell that he is mentally steeling himself for the final assault on the meat pie. With the strength of five men, and the appetite of ten, Bjorn lifts the pie-laden fork to his mouth and with voracious aggression devours the final piece to the cheers of “Huzzah!” from his comrades. Sigbold Sticky-fingers slaps him on the back and says “I didn’t think you could do it! Here you go, crowns well earned.” But to your surprise, Bjorn doesn’t take the crowns. Instead…
What is he up to?
(This is where the story splits)
(Option one)
Bjorn stands up from his seat, and with a friendly gesture says,” Sigbold, my friend, that was the best meal I’ve had in a long time. In fact, we’ll have to do it again some time… you’re buying.” The men burst into laughter and everything goes back to normal. At least, until next time…
Well, I never… (Bjorn gains the fat trait)
(Option two)
He just continues to stare at Sigbold with a glazed look in his eyes. His face begins to turn green, and he slowly slumps over with his hands on his stomach. “Watch out!” One man shouts as everyone jumps for cover. “He’s gonna blow!” With a mighty heaving and a noise so repulsive it makes you feel sick, Bjorn begins to empty his recently acquired personal contents all over the ground in a grand display regret. After he’s all finished and the men return to their duties, you hear Bjorn mutter to himself. “I’m never, never, ever doing that again.”
I hope he learned his lesson. (Bjorn gains the Spartan trait)
I hope you like my little story. If you really liked it and want to put it in the game (which, let’s be honest, is why I made it), you have my permission, and I would be honored.
Truly,
The Amazing Typing Aardvark
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