21. August 2015 at 08:12 #5954TimotheusParticipant
With the goblin update, I will retire my old group of mercenary, but not without eternizing their capers in the most noble art form. Fanfiction.
Adventures of the Silver Swords
Reynhold the Juggler
Reynhold used to juggle for a living, but luck has led him down. In desperation he chose to become a mercenary. Even though being terribly afraid, he was kind of looking forward to wielding a sword or a big axe instead of his silly tools of trade. However no mercenary band wanted a juggler. But then came the Silver Swords through town. They hired from the low classes and turned those misfits into… actually no, they didn’t turn anybody into anything. They stayed a ragtag group of uncooperative loosers. And they accepted this juggler without hesitation.
Gerhard Silvertongue, former peddler and founding member of the Silver Swords, handed out weapons to the new recruits. Bernhard the Ministrel got a short sword, Lothar the Servant got a long sword and then it was Reynhold’s turn. He was handed a…
„What is that?“
„A wooden flail.“
„Is that even a weapon? Are you mocking me, because I’m a juggler?!“
„I promise, we are not just handing out weapons that make fun of your backgrounds.“
After that the Silvertongue gave Gernot, a Daytaler who used to work on a farm, a long hayfork.
After a few days, Wiedekind, another founding member and a former Deserteur, approached Reynhold. „Wooden flail, huh? Let me give you a real weapon.“ Reynhold smiled with anticipation. „Here you go. A real steel flail. Don’t let it drop on you feet, because that would hurt more that with your juggle balls.“ Reynhold gnashed his teeth.
After a month – by that time Orcs have learned to fear the stench and the brutal fighting style of the Silver Swords – Renyhold got a a raise and Asgaier, the third founding member has promised him a much better weapon. „We salvaged it from a dead orc. You will be the first mercenary in our group to carry an orcish weapon. Be proud of yourself.“ Was it a giant axe? A huge sword? It was a… spiky ball on a long, heavy chain, also known as Beserk Chain.
Reynhold got really mad. All those jokes about jugglers made him furious. They have gone too far. But then Reynhold smiled. Because whenever Gerhard, Wiedekind and Asgeier fought next to him, he swang the weapon in a round circle, „accidentally“ hitting the three men and also one or two enemies. Since then they offered him swords, axes and pikes, but Reynhold the Juggler declined, as he was really happy with his Beserk Chain.
King of the Hill
Thorben the Seargent was no founding member of the Silver Swords, but he was the first to join Gerhard, Wiedekind and Asgeier. Everbody knows he’s a little bit slow, but he was a reliable fighter. One time the Silver Swords fought a group of orcs and when the battle started, Thorben looked around. He was standing on an unclimbable hill seperated by his brothers. „How did I end up here?“, he wondered before two young orcs and a berserker climbed up on the other side and attacked him. Thorben’s only help in the fight was Meinrad who shot his crossbow accurately up the hill. Thorben won that fight unharmed and never figured out, how he got there in the first place.
Speaking of Meinrad
Meinrad used to be a poacher, when the joined the Silver Swords as their last member. And he used to think life as a mercenery would be diverse and eventful. But ever since he was a Silver Sword he did two things. Train to shoot with his crossbow. Shoot his crossbow in battle. Killed a few bandits, killed a few werewolves, a few orcs. It was all the same. Never really got into melee. During one fight he was sniping orcs from a hill behind his comrads, when one huge orcish warrior raised his crude iron shield and shoves Meinrads brothers left and right and then stood right in front of Meinrad. The orc was even bigger up close and Meinrad could see despite several wounds, the orc could still rip him in half.
„Now it is time for the grand melee!“, shouted Meinrad. „Where did I put my sword?“ He searched for his sword, while the orc warrior pointed to a tiny orcish sundial on his wrist. „I think I have misplaced it.“ Seeing no other possibility Meinrad lifted his loaded crossbow and shot the orc warrior in the head, against all chances killing him dead on point blank range.
Lost in translation
The Silver Swords were recruiting again.
„Uh, how do you call it again? I was a ‘Bettelmönch’“
„Battle Monk, huh? Guys, come here, we finally have a martial arts specialist!“
Winrich, the monk, was hired right on the spot. His presence encouraged the mercenaries so much, they didn’t noticed how poor a fighter Winrich was.
After many battles the Silver Swords decided to get retired. They moved to a peaceful farm outside the capital. The farm of old mercenaries. The leader of the Silver Swords has grown a big brown beard and lives in the capital itself, where he keeps the savings and the equipment of his fellow mercenaries. So if ever something bad happens to the men on the farm, the riches would not be lost.
On an unrelated note: There’s a brown bearded questgiver in the capital. He claims there is a group of poorly equipped bandits on a farm just outside the capital and he’s paying well for a new mercenary band to go there and kill the ‘bandits’.
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